Me Myself and I

Why does my opinion count, why is it important for me to be heard or considered? Why does it make me angry that I am not asked for an opinion when the event is for me. Well is the event really for me, if it was then it would not happen, cause I dont even believe or need the event to be with someone. Then why do I get angry. Am I angry that others who would like to participate are not considered and feel left out, and I want to be fair. But when the event is not for me or mine or does not define me, how am I not being fair. Is me being fair defined by this event? No. I control me and my actions/reactions alone. I will be calm and see everything as the best one can be at the time, and the best one could do at the time. I am getting to be with my soul mate. Isnt that the biggest event and gift of all? Why does it matter if I dont get to pick the color of my card or have a poem written by my grandmother in it, or have it on recycled paper or print please recycle on it. At this time I limit myself by saying these things define me. The minute I say they dont, I am beyond this, the things seem insignificant. Isnt this my ego. 

Maybe I dont get to pick the card, or the flowers, or the place, or the time, or the priest, but I got to pick my soul mate. The most important thing of all. All these things will last a day and vanish. But he will be with me for a life time. May I have the strength to see this and feel this calm in the most chaotic of moments. May we all have the strength to pass through these days with calm and notice our ego when it plunges forth into the drama. 

There is more unto me than this moment

There is more unto me than this thought

This mind that defines me also confines me

only if this moment I am caught

The ego seeks to control

seeks to be identified and counted

In this struggle to shine and overcome

dont know how many hearts have been pounded

What hurts is to see good wishes vanish

relations going bitter

Eyes that see good 

Now see pain with fear

In this battle of egos

I am another soldier

awaiting my death

then can I wish for some peace, maybe.

An occasion meant for happiness

now shall rest

for I need to seek a larger definition

desperately and painfully so